Another View of the Holocaust

Annexed_Sharon_DogarEveryone knows about Anne Frank and her life hidden in the secret annex, but what about the boy who was also trapped there with her?

On July 13, 1942, 15-year-old Peter van Pels and his parents entered the attic that became their home for two years. Peter is angry that he is hiding and not fighting Nazis. He is also not happy to be sharing cramped living quarters with the Franks, especially know-it-all Anne. In this novel, Sharon Dogar “reimagines” what happened between the families who lived in the secret annex immortalized in Anne Frank’s diary. In doing so, she creates a captivating historical novel and fully fleshes out the character of Peter, a boy whom teens will easily relate to. He agonizes over whether he will ever make love to a girl, fights with his parents, sulks, and questions God and religion before finally maturing into a man. While this novel focuses on his adolescent struggles in the face of unthinkable adversity, the most compelling dilemma he faces is figuring out who he is. When Anne accuses him of deserting his people, Peter laments, “I want so many things, but what I need is to know who I am. Because if I don’t know that, I can only ever be what they say I am. A Jew.” Even in the concentration camp, he fights against being treated as an animal, is angered at being stripped of his name, and regrets that he may not be able to tell his story. But he does, and readers are enlightened and deeply moved as a result. Annexed is a superb addition to the Holocaust literature, and should not be missed. – from School Library Journal

Dogar explores what this might have been like from Peter’s point of view. What was it like to be forced into hiding with Anne Frank, first to hate her and then to find yourself falling in love with her? Especially with your parents and her parents all watching almost everything you do together. To know you’re being written about in Anne’s diary, day after day? What’s it like to start questioning your religion, wondering why simply being Jewish inspires such hatred and persecution? Or to just sit and wait and watch while others die, and wish you were fighting.

As Peter and Anne become closer and closer in their confined quarters, how can they make sense of what they see happening around them?

Anne’s diary ends on August 4, 1944, but Peter’s story takes us on, beyond their betrayal and into the Nazi death camps. He details with accuracy, clarity and compassion the reality of day to day survival in Auschwitz and ultimately the horrific fates of the Annex’s occupants.

Annexed deals with poweful themes and one of the most horrific times in world history. When asked how she approached the subject with a young adult audience in mind, Dogar said:

I didn’t. I don’t believe young adults need to be protected as much as they need to be exposed (with gentleness if possible) to the reality of the world in all its forms; good bad, and ugly. Anne never hides or pretends and I took my lead from her. She was remarkably intelligent, imaginative and compassionate, as well as honest. She never patronized her readers, and I tried to do the same. I don’t have her raw talent or brilliance, but I do have the same respect she has for her readers at all times as equals.

Below is an excerpt from the book. © Reprinted with permission.

May 1945 Peter: Austria,
Mauthausen, sick bay

I think I’m still alive.

But I’m not sure.

I’m ill.

I must be because I’m lying down. We never lie down.

In the camps there’s no such thing as rest.

I should be carrying rocks up the quarry steps. It’s a long way to the top of the quarry. I never know if I will make it. If someone ahead of us falls, we all fall—unless we’re quick.

Sometimes the guards wait until one of us is on the very last step, already thinking of laying down his burden, of the relief of letting down the weight. That’s when they reach out with their boots and kick us down. We fall like dominoes.

That’s all I remember, falling down the side of the quarry. I feel my body jolt and bounce. I feel the other bodies land on me. I am crushed, bony body on bony body. We are all so sharp now. My bones crunch. I am suffocating. The bodies move off me, the dead pushed aside by the living. I can breathe. My bones click back into place. I am alive and must get up, or I will be piled up with the dead. I try to stand.

I can see why the guards laugh. I look like a puppet. A puppet of bones with his strings all cut. I stand. I walk. I go on. But I know that really I am still dead on the ground, that each day a piece of us dies.

And we let it die. We have to—to survive. Soon someone will come and wake me and the nightmare will begin. I’m waiting for the word, that word:


Wake up. If they come, then I must stand up and work, or I must die. Perhaps I am already dying. Everyone does in the end, there’s no other way out. And now it’s my turn.

It’s a relief.

The problem with lying down is that it brings memories. They keep on coming, reminding me of who I am.

The world.

My life.

The German Jews have a word for it.


The longing for home. We avoid it if we can. It can be fatal.

I am hot. My head aches. My body hurts. These are just words, they don’t explain the pain. The way my bones grind against each other. There are no words for pain like this.

But the memories are worse—pictures of a time before. Of a time I must deny, so that when they come to wake me I can go on. Put one foot in front of the other, pretending that there is only this moment, this day, this night to get through—and survive.

To tell my story.

But the memories persist; they push at the edges of my resistance. They spill. There was a girl, wasn’t there? There was a place. A place where the leaves fell like golden coins from a tree into the water as we watched through the attic window . . . and before that there was a home, a street, a world, a girl I loved . . .

Part 1:
The Annex
July 13, 1942 —Peter van Pels:
Amsterdam, Zuider-Amstellaan

I’m running through the streets; it’s early morning and the sun tries to break through the mist. My footsteps echo. My thoughts race: I’m not going into hiding. I’m not going into hiding—especially not with the Franks!

I don’t know where I’ll go; I only know that I can’t do it. I can’t stay locked up in a tiny apartment with two girls (especially not Anne Frank) and Mutti and Mrs. Frank! Just because Father does business with them doesn’t mean we have to like them! I’d rather take my chances on the streets.

My feet hit the pavement. Somewhere behind me there’s the sound of an engine. I know at once what it is. We all know the sound—a military vehicle.

I slow down, keep to the shadows. It’s still curfew time for Jews, not that I look like a Jew.

I’m nearly there.

At Liese’s house.


I whisper her name. I imagine her face, her violet eyes and her soft dark hair. I imagine what she might do when I tell her I’m running. She might hold me; she might lie down in the grass with me. She might . . .

I need to concentrate. I need to get over the wall and into her back garden.

I take a run and try to vault it. It’s high. I miss.

The sound of the engine comes closer.

I hit the wall with my left foot, and with fear fueling my fist I grab the top of it with my right hand—and this time I make it.

I drop onto the grass. Breathe hard and reach around me feeling for a stone, a twig, anything I can throw at her window to wake her.

But something stops me. I listen. The streets are silent. There’s no sound. That means the engine’s stopped. I stand completely still. Did they see me? Are they searching through the streets right now, listening, waiting for me to give myself away—to make a sound?

Into the silence comes a banging, a crashing of fists on the door and voices shouting.

“Open up! Open up!”

I stand in the garden, frozen. I watch as the lights come on. I see Liese’s face appear briefly behind the window as she draws back the curtains—then she’s gone. I watch as the whole family reappears behind the lit-up window of the sitting room. They’re wearing their nightclothes. They gesticulate, argue, but in the end they pack their cases, put on their coats, and disappear—with Liese.

I know they’re calling up teenage girls. I know that’s why we’re going into hiding, because Margot Frank has been called up. But I never thought it would happen to Liese.

I try to run to her, but my legs won’t move; my hand’s still behind me holding the stone. I don’t know how long it is before I can move again, before I vault the wall and run to the corner of the street, but I know it’s too late. The van’s already moving. I watch it turn the corner and speed away.

With Liese in it.

I start to run. I run hard but the van’s already racing down the street.



The van goes on, disappearing. I keep on running until I’m on my knees. Too late.

Too late.

She’s gone.

I can’t believe it. Why? Why her? Why now?

I turn back to the house. The door’s locked but I know where the key’s kept. Slowly, I unlock the door. Everything is neat and tidy.The piano lid is open—Liese’s favorite piece of music is on the stand. Everything looks the same, but the house is empty of her and so everything is completely different. Where have they taken her—and why did they take all of them? Where shall I go now?

I don’t know what to do.

I look out the window onto the street. I look at my watch. Six twenty-two. I’m meant to be at Mr. Frank’s workplace in a few hours. We’re arriving separately, all of us. We’ll walk into the building just like it was any other visit—only this time we’ll never walk out again.

We’ll stay in there.

We don’t know for how long.

I stare out the window.

The early-morning streets are empty, and so am I. I can’t think of anything—except the van disappearing, and the fact that I stood there and let it happen! How did I ever think I could escape them, or fight them?

She’s gone.

And I know what I’m doing.

I’m going into hiding.

I wait and watch as the streets fill with people. I wait and watch the sun get higher. I wait and watch the world come to life. I wait knowing that I’m not running anywhere because there’s nowhere to run to.

I look out the window.

The world I can see isn’t my world anymore—it’s theirs: the National Socialist German Workers’ Party’s—the Nazis’. They’ve taken it away from me—piece by piece. I can’t ride in trams or cars like everybody else. I can’t swim in the same

water or sit and watch films in the same cinema. I can’t shop in gentile shops. I can’t sit in the street. I can’t drink from the water fountains. I can’t walk anywhere without a star on my chest. I can’t . . . I can’t . . . I can’t do anything. If someone decides to attack me I can’t expect any help—and I mustn’t fight back. If I do, then they might beat me to death, and no one would stop them. If I don’t fight back, then I’m exactly what they say I am—a cowardly Jew-boy.

I don’t exist anymore. They’ve turned me into a nobody so that they can wipe me off the face of the earth.

It feels so obvious to me now.

I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.

How did I miss it?

How did I ever think I could escape?

How did I ever think I could fight?

I should leave now. It’s time. I find a satchel and a spare jacket with a star sewn onto it, but then at the last minute I decide not to wear it. If this is my last walk through the city I’m going to do it free—as me—and if anything happens, if they find me—then let them.

The walk to Prinsengracht is a long way, maybe an hour. At the end of it is a warehouse; at the top of the warehouse, hidden at the back, is an annex.

No one knows it’s there, except the workers who’ll help hide us. Father says we’re lucky, lucky he happens to be in business with Mr. Frank. Lucky Mr. Frank’s asked us to join his family in hiding. I don’t think so. I’d rather be in America.

I’ve got a diagram of the Annex. I know where to go in, which stairs I have to use, and how to find my way to the back of the house where the rooms are hidden. Where I’ll be hidden.

I should go now.

If I’m going.

I’m on the street. The sun is on my face. There is no star on my chest. I’m free for another hour. One more hour. The whole world feels strange around me: pin-sharp and beautiful. Without my star I get no pitying looks. I’ve forgotten what it’s like not to be noticed. I stop. I drink from a fountain. Mutti would be horrified. I could be arrested, killed, sent away …

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